My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. James 1:19-21 NIV)
James gives us the key to anger management. Be quick to listen, think before you speak, don’t let anger take over. Most of us have a problem listening. We often are thinking of what we want to say next instead of concentrating on what the other person is saying. If we really paid attention we would have less communication problems. If we took the time to ask questions about what the person said so that we have a good understanding we could avoid a lot of conflicts. Asking questions and repeating back what you believe they are saying lets the person know that you are paying attention. Also, repeating back in your words what you think they are saying helps to correct any misunderstanding that you might have had. I have found that a lot of anger issues are the result of misunderstandings. James says human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires for us. Anger is often hurtful and destroys relationships. It slowly eats away at the person it is directed to.